Hi 👋

So I was re- reading one of my movie reviews the other day and it was like a hit of nostalgia, i started to remember what it felt like write reviews and random life posts...

how much fun it was

how therapeutic it was

and how it felt like maybe i was starting to find out who "jolene" really is

So here i am, writing another life post in 2024, 6 years after my last one (the "i got the job" post). Though it does feel like I was never really gone. I have blog drafts for Shang Chi, Zack Synder's Justice League, Black Panther, The Dark Knight IMAX experience and more which I will either finish, start from scratch or honestly...scrap all together 

(UPDATE: I ended up scrapping most of them,  the Shang chi review is the only one I kept lol 😅)

I really hope everyone has been keeping safe, and taking care of themselves because it really does seem like everywhere you turn, there's another event world wide event we're going through. whether it's Covid-19 and it's variants, elections, the earthquakes and hurricanes, mass shootings, wildfires...it's always something 

And it's fair to feel hopeless, that no matter what you do, it won't make a difference and that's not true. The tiniest thing whether it's sending someone a nice note, being that shining and positive light on Twitter, donating even $1 to a charity, sending up a prayer, anything

I say all this to say that, take care of yourself. take care of your mental state, take a walk, chew some gum, play neopets, read a book, listen to your favourite song. It's so important and I never knew how important until about 4 years ago.

So bear with me, this might be a really long post.

Get some popcorn and your favourite tea with bayel's coffee whitener, it's gonna be a long ride 

Coming back from Vancouver was suppose to be...feel like "the beginning" of my life. I graduated from school and things should have started "falling" into place and making sense.  I know it's cliché and never the case (every movie, book and song told me so) but because I was slightly older I thought it would turn out differently for me...

and bbbooooyyyyyy did it.

In my last life update, I told you guys I got the job at Rocket Science VFX. My very first studio job and it was great! The commute sucked but I knew that going in. I got hired as a junior compositor but was really only doing prep work (roto and paint) but eventually started to do more compositing work which was great. I was terrified cause it was a whole different ball game but I knew it was necessary to move forward.

the studio life when it came to working...could have been better. 

There was an individual who would CUSS EVERY 2 MINS IN A LOUD VOICE FOR THE ENTIRE NEIGHBOURHOOD TO HEAR. It was so distracting and not cool but I guess because he was senior compositor they let it slide...

But hey, they turned on the TV to watch the FIFA games and that was always a good time!  

Over a year later I decided to leave the company. I didn't have another job lined up but I wasn't scared or worried... cause I went to WALT DISNEY WORLD YOOOO! (how do I not have a post up about that! Trust me I will very soon!)

Going to Walt Disney World was...EVERYTHING. It really was a dream come true and since then I've gone back one more time and looking to either go back in 2025 or trade it up for Disneyland instead 🎉

But anyways during that time my church was going through a transition period, we had just bought a new building and getting ready to have our grand opening. 

Tech wise, we had all this new stuff and software and no one knew how to use it so I decided to teach myself cause I mean...we had it....paid for it...so why not

During that time I was sending out my demo reel and was applying for jobs

I was so close to getting a job at MPC but never heard anything back...and then I heard back from RodeoFX...the vfx studio behind stranger things and other amazing projects. I did the interview and got the job!

I flipped out! I was so excited and nervous cause it was in Montreal so I knew that would be a struggle for me language wise. I don't speak a LICK of French but I was gonna make it work.

I found a room in the perfect location and while my roommates were nice, finding their hair EVERYWHERE, even in the kitchen sink was NOT ideal. Not to long after after settling in, I kinda found myself struggling...

Company wise, RodeoFX was amazing! I loved the studio and the buddy I got was also from Toronto so that was a cool break and everyone was really cool.

This was my desk

however when it came to conversing, making purchases, even just asking a question on a bus it was tough. Because of my name, everyone thought I was French and could speak it which I guess was fair... most of my work chats were in French so I had google translate open all the time. 

But I found when trying to converse with people outside the studio, it was really hard and when people found out I didn't speak French it was like people were saying, "why are you even here?" 

it was lonely for sure, I tried to get out on the weekends when I could, go for walks, check out the city, I even met up with one of my church friends who came down! That was cool! 

but i am an EXTREME introvert and & hit a new low the last month I was there. I had just found out that a friend my mom had adopted when she was yonger (during that time I did consider her a sister) had died unexpectedly leaving behind her husband and two young kids. It was tough to hear that on top of everything I was feeling which was just a sense of literal nothing.

I would stay in bed for hours just looking out the window, I did not show up for work, I didn't call anyone. My roommates didn't see me for days.

At the end of my 3 month probation period, I decided not to stay and go back home...

Something wasn't working and i could not see myself staying in Montreal. I would miss RodeoFX for sure but I just couldn't do it.

Looking back, I think I took it for granted how lucky I was to be in such a great studio with great people. People did say I didn't give myself enough time to adjust or really find my footing and as more time pass I do think that was true and I do have some regret but I had to do something to get out of the funk I was in 

so I went home & an started another job at a studio Downtown Toronto which I can say with full confidence...was the worst studio experiences I've ever had...

the studio mainly worked on children's tv shows and tv movies. It was different and I didn't mind it one bit. Yeah it wasn't brag worthy but still cool. 

The only thing...was the studio...again...The building it self was bad and where they had put me was on a slant so my chair kept on rolling to the side. Also I was by a manhole that would absolutely REEK everytime it rained which was often. 

I wasn't given much instruction or introduction so I just went in, bared with it and did my work. 

When the pandemic hit, I didn't even know they had made the which to working from home! I went in one day and no one was in the studio 😂

So because of the unsure times, I was with them for a while, got a raise which was nice but the same position as a prep artist. I noticed things were done different. No clear instruction on what to do or quality check which was immediately a red flag for me 

Now...for my lead...he was....he was something else

He would say things that were unprofessional but joke about it which I thought was fine at the time. It would break the ice and I understood what kind of person he was a little more. He would make jokes or refer to things that I knew nothing about...

he would however check in to see how I was doing, tell me what a great job I was doing, pass shots on to me, etc. I didn’t mind that because all that conversing made me come out of my shell a little bit and made me feel like I was starting to fit somewhere into the company...

UNTIL…! this particular conversation…

He had planned an event for people at work, a little movie night, and was really pushing people to make it. I couldn’t…something either to do with church or my family or something

I felt bad and told him I’m sorry I can’t make it, told him why and hope it would be a good turn out.

He said something (which I can't remember now) before saying this,

“JK have fun… also you didn’t need to tell me

Come, don’t

Up to you, don’t care”

WELL DAMN.

And it wasn’t in that one message kinda way, he broke it up into four messages.

I swear I’m not overreacting cause…that’s rude right?! Don’t have dumbass conversations about your brother out of nowhere with your new coworker of 2 weeks and then talk about other foolishness and then when I’m trying to be nice and considerate, you reply with “DON’T CARE”

And your MY SUPERVISOR? MY LEAD.

I was already having major red flag signs and that was the last straw. I looked for a new job quick but couldn’t find any…

UNTIL...

One day I was a job opening at Rodeo for prep position but for their toronto location.

I FREAKED OUT!

It was everything I wanted. Back with the company I had no problems with but here, home and comfortable and grounded.

I applied and heard nothing back. I was pretty bumbed out until they reached out to me on LinkedIn, having no previous knowledge of my applying for the job before!

A couple interviews & boom! I was hired!

re-hired? one of them...

During this time the higher ups at my current job were wanting to start me in a higher position, as a compositor, which would have been cool but it was a little too late and I was ready to move on, plus the timing was suuuuppppeerrrr convenient

I had a plan. I didn’t wanna change jobs again but I felt I was becoming stagnant and not progressing. I had also made up my mind that this was company I was gonna stay and learn all I could before hopefully THE JOB finally came around. But I knew I wasn’t happy there and this was the opportunity I had wanted from the day I got hire at rodeo the first time!

Without any hesitation I jumped back in and I had never been happier & working from home was such a blessing.

No commute which means no spending money on transportation...money saved

As soon as work was done...I was already home....time saved...

Unfortunately it has been and still still is taking a toll on my physical health which I started to take control, I've decided to cut out the candy which has been going well for a couple months,

first candy, then sugar in general...then THE WORLD

ahem...

And that brings us to about 2022 and on...and there's still so much...! I haven't even touched my family yet 😭

...

I'm trying to not make this post too long to read which is why I'm breaking it up the way I am

BUT...! I'm also having too much fun writing it 😅

while working at rodeo, I was able to make one of my dreams come true, I was able to work on the Disney's live action version of the Little Mermaid and get my name in the CREDITS of a DISNEY MOVIE! 

(This is a whole thing, 2023 I can definitely say was my year and I can't wait to do a post about it!)

I've really been able to work on some cool projects and work with some great people! I was able to go from pre artist, to prep lead to now compositor (personally for me definitely a junior compositor, there is SO much I still need to learn 😭)

But it's really been great and honestly for awhile there it seemed really solid...and then 

gone.

the Hollywood strikes

this was my first time being in this industry during a strike and feeling the effects and all joking aside, it's scary.

I don't like not knowing, being unsure, not knowing how long I have job for etc. 

While I know the strikes were for a good reason, I saw so many people I worked with closely, that lost their jobs, and some at such critical times in their lives.

Even though a deal has been made and we're now a few months in, we're still feeling the affects and honestly...it sucks. it really does. 

And that brings us to now...

I'm grateful I still have a job and still with the company 

I have officially moved out of my parents house 

And now...I guess I'm just trying to do me

Now that I have a little bit more time on my hands, I really want to get back into writing blog posts & reviews. I miss doing it and it really fun. 

So if you're just joining me, Hi welcome I'm Jolene and if you've been with me from way back, thanks so much for sticking around!

*sorry if this post was kinda all over the place, I'll work on that ☺️